The Tale of Pumpkin Jo
We have a new member of the team for the next two weeks only, ready to take calls and dispense advice. Meet Pumpkin Jo!
Pumpkin Jo is, as you might have guessed, a pumpkin. Standing at approximately 7 inches high and two feet around, Jo is perfectly in proportion for a pumpkin.
Jo came to us from a far off land, the country of Asdaa, where they spent the last few weeks chilling with friends. Before that Jo worked on a farm, where they grew up, spending the days (and nights) in a field, growing and learning. Jo loved this time, talking to friends, chilling and chatting with other pumpkins and learning about things all young pumps need to know. The cycle of the seasons, the great yellow and white pumpkins in the sky, and the night terror, PSL.
Alas all this was to end in a brutal act. Ripped from the stem and bundled into the back of a tractor, Jo was scared, frightened and alone. they were dumped face down into the trailer, and so couldn’t see anything as they began their long journey. Humiliated, stripped of dignity and alone, Jo waited. Subjected to waterboarding, Jo said nothing. Labelled, barcoded, more an object than a person, Jo said nothing. Finally, put on display in the markets of Asdaa for the locals to gawp at, pick up, toss about and place back roughly.
When they came to us, Jo recounted the other kinds of people he saw in the market. Families of grapes, bunches of pears and bushels of apples came and went, taken by their new masters to fates no one was sure of. Finally, Jo’s day came. Picked up by a local who was friendly, Jo was lucky. Their fate was not to have their flesh consumed, or to be hollowed out and their skull used to decorate the porches and windowsills of humanity’s homes. Jo was to be a Marketing Assistant at the University of Northampton, saved, at least for the next two weeks.
Now Jo is happy. They help around the office, we take them on trips, and they just generally are having a great time. Here’s some pictures of Jo’s first few days.
Here’s Jo ready to take a call. They can’t hold the phone, but we were able to provide some tape.
Finally managed to find some parking on campus, but Jo’s parking left something to be desired. We had a chat about it.
Had to explain to Jo that people in this town actually eat fruit for dinner. We didn’t have a shocked face for him but I could tell that Jo was shaken up by this revelation.
So I decided to take Jo to Starbucks. Perhaps a mistake, Jo seemed initally to be excited at the thought of a Latte especially for pumpkins, until they realised that it was in fact the dreaded PSL, made with pumpkin!!! :O
We managed to get over this shock, and Jo managed to queue for lunch. Jo had the tuna melt without the bread (they only eat non-plant).
Then it was back to the office for the rest of the day’s hard work. Jo’s here until at least they start to smell and hopefully up to Halloween.
Where should we take Jo next? Contact us @Uninorthants or #UNandYou
